a fourth sunday. a rather busy one.
one where i woke up in a best western in tacoma, after an afternoon at the korean spa, with a dear friend for her birthday. one where we walked along the sound for just a bit and cleared our minds and laughed our smiles sore and spoke our stories. one that later found me on the road with the boys, where the oldest grabbed my camera to shoot when the sky out the window was thick with birds. one where the boys made dad laugh till he cried and my mom shared handwork tips with tater and we all watched the waves crash and the sun set and after all that i felt so much better.
the third sunday. a rare treat.
on the sundays that we all get to be home together for the day, it is a gift.
some mornings, when you stumble down the stairs to make coffee, the youngest is waiting, with his purple striped gloves and a stick for a sword.
some knucklehead is using a stick for art.
sometimes it's afternoon and you're still wearing jammies and playing catch with your dad.
and sometimes you can see clearly the dance they are dancing...where one leans maybe a little too heavily and loves maybe a little too loudly for the the preteen other, who pretends not to stand it, but will miss it when it's gone. should it ever go.
(you should visit the lovely sundays of my friends andrea and jen..sure to be beautiful.)
second sunday. or, how some friends show you yourself.
i had the pleasure of a work
weekend in sunny san diego last weekend, as well as the delight of
getting to share a sweet historic hotel room with one of my very nearest
and dearest, who drove down from long beach bearing tulips and
champagne, a long awaited bean in her belly, and thoughtful trinkets for
my boys.
i want to go
into great detail about the phenomenal woman that myriam is. i want to
tell you how being her friend means having your heart memorized and read
out loud each and every time you are together. how your secrets spill
out to her like you're the bag of rice while she wields the knife. that any attempts at b.s. are blown away when she clobbers you with one of her own truths or aims those beautiful brown eyes in your direction. that one moment the two of you can be weepy, cracked open, and an eye
blink later she will have you falling out of hotel beds, howling with
laughter. how she's brave enough to tell you when you might possibly be wrong, and
loving enough to make you feel invincible. how she can make magic out
of golden beets and stinky cheese. and every lucky soul to cross her
path. how she carries in her a long awaited little one that will be
truly one of the most blessed of people, to call her Mama. how i
cannot wait to love that baby.
that day i had sessions to do and we had checking out to do so i turned
my camera on her only for a few moments. standing there with the world
in her belly. waiting there to lift off with the love she has to give.
i want to gush more. but will leave you instead with the poem she read that day.
Love After Love
The time will come
when, with elation
you will greet yourself arriving
at your own door, in your own mirror
and each will smile at the other's welcome,
and say, sit here. Eat.
You will love again the stranger who was your self.
Give wine. Give bread. Give back your heart
to itself, to the stranger who has loved you
all your life, whom you ignored
for another, who knows you by heart.
Take down the love letters from the bookshelf,
the photographs, the desperate notes,
peel your own image from the mirror.
Sit. Feast on your life.
Derek Walcott
the first of sundays. or, how maya is teaching me about letting go.
i was tickled and terrified at once when i said yes to my crazy talented and dearest jen to join in on a personal photography project she was joining in with andrea, another ridiculously amazing woman, who started it all. we were to take a moment, or many, to document our life, with our real cameras, every sunday. i knew i wanted in because something like this, where i'm accountable to friends, would be the thing that made me blog. okay, also i missed the images from our life before iphones...when i took the time to take out and set up my camera, and a little more thoughtfully document our days.
saturday was a long day, as friday had been a long night with maya, poor old girl. she'd been up through all hours, pacing and fussing. we two were up most of the night. saturday, while administering the newest tinctures and homeopathic medicines, i was kissing her cold wet nose in between and laughing at her tricky way of hiding pills in the side of her mouth and spitting them out when i turned around, when billy said rather earnestly, "that dog loves you so much, it's actually moving." which moved me. and i knew then what i wanted to shoot the next morning.
sunday came, and i came downstairs with purpose and armed with my camera. i was determined to photograph that gushy look of love maya's eyes held just for me. i wanted to capture just how it looked to be that unabashedly, unconditionally adored. and the rascal was already waiting on my favorite new flowered sofa. it was perfect. i triumphantly started shooting, sure i would get The Face.
and she was skeptical.
and we got close,
and we had our little staring sessions but i quickly saw i could never really capture what was in her eyes, (not until i invent that camera that sits behind your eyeball and the shutter is released with the blink of your eyelid. patent pending.) and honestly, it bummed me out. i was sure that was what i was supposed to catch until i started to put my camera away and saw it. this face.
this sweet face, with her sprinkled grey and fading freckles. with cloudy eyes that, when not beaming out all that love, looked tired and far away. the shutter snapped and it zapped me, that this girl of mine, this comrade and dearest, devoted friend of nearly fifteen years, has possibly been trying to prepare me for her absence. that it could be sooner than later that she can't stay here. and while it sinks my heart like a bag of rocks, i am thankful for the time and lessons with this girl. and grateful for the lens i have to see it though.
if the first sessions of 2o13 are telling, it is going to be a really exciting and creative year. thank you for inspiring me!
